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For most of society family is the only path. The other is too esoteric.

Misogyny probably arises from how a woman cannot directly make a man love himself. “He” sees “Her” as an obstacle in his quest for love.

Woman on the other hand can feel loved by being loved. Culturally it is easier for them to accept themselves. Men on the other hand are asked to constantly better themselves by rejecting the current weak self.

These roles are a mix of biological and cultural reasons. Biologically because women birth children and culturally because it is tied so much to traditions around family and marriage.

Self-acceptance and self-betterment are the yin and yang roles of life. Without this balance, a relationship isn’t stable.

Self acceptance can only occur when it feels safe. Self betterment has to be present to provide this safety. Self betterment too can only provide this energy if it senses that life is truly worth living for.

Strangely, when someone wants to be better. Helping them accept themselves gives them the energy to overcome their obstacles.

Vice versa, when someone is struggling to love themselves it’s helping them overcome their limits that helps them accept themselves.

A yin-yin dysfunction is when two people are trying to love themselves as they are. They stagnate and float apart or rip each other to shreds in a zero sum game for love.

A yang-yang dysfunction is like a band of soldiers. It eventually faces a dragon it can’t fight.

Even for more complex polyarmorous relationships with different gender identities the core isea is the same. Is the yin-yang balanced?

An individual who is able to change from a yin role a yang role with equal potency in both is an infinite source of love because it can adapt to any situation.

Traditionally this is not possible for single individuals (or at least, very hard to do so). But just like a company can do things no single individual can so too can a family.

The traditiona nuclear family is an infinite source of love precisely because it can alternative between yin and yang as necessary. Most families obviously don’t have this balanced.

In some, despite equal yin and yang energy it can feel like one half of you is being burned alive and the other half is freezing and alone. The result is whole soul numbness.

In others, the energies arise only to cancel each other out making the family unit feel like a a dessert.

A “traditional” family has a higher probability to get the love formula right just like following the directions to the letter helps you bake a cake correctly.

No room for creative expression yes. But why mess with such an important recipe?

What traditionalists don’t get is that when you can’t tell apart your perfectly baked white cake from everyone elses it’s hard to love yourself because you can’t even find yourself.

Perfection is the very thing that causes to to be confused as to who you are. Aiming for perfection likewise will always have a honogeonizing effect.

Ignoring tradition also doesn’t work just as rainbow sand shaken up is just grey or how a light with all colors just looks white.