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a_yawning_cat's profile
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@a_yawning_cat

stray thoughts, loosely held. rat jaeger.

California, USA
aycat.substack.com
Joined December 2018

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    1.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 7 Jul 2020

      A resentful ego that is immature and can't face death resents this. It devises all sorts of ways to get other people to face death instead. It surrounds itself with happy and positive people, forcing conformation to external markers of happiness and positivity.

      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
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    2.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 7 Jul 2020

      A mature ego is one that is prepared to face death. Because of that willingness it can plow through any problem. But because of that willingness it never figures out ways to slow down death.

      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
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    3.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 7 Jul 2020

      It's the coward who invents the gun in a world of spears. It's the cowards who invents the spear in a world of fists.

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      Show this thread
    4.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 7 Jul 2020

      Energy is released when the immature develops into the mature. True growth can be felt and feels magical. Pseudo growth feels like formula following as actions are copied robotically, it feels fake.

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
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    5.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 7 Jul 2020

      The process of growth feels like a process of facing the darkness. Poor people have an advantage here. You have to face it instead of shield yourself from it in a mountain of money.

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
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    6.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 7 Jul 2020

      If you never have to face darkness you never truly grow even if you intellectually know the 'right' behaviors. It's the real wolf in the darkness you have to face. Not some video game.

      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
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    7.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 7 Jul 2020

      Money corrupts because it's driven by a fear of fear. Money can be burned to produce light that can drive away existential darkness. When you fear to lose money you are fearful of losing the light rather than facing the darkness.

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
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    8.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 7 Jul 2020

      Fear of facing the darkness empowers you to grow. Fear of losing the light only provides anxiety and guilt and shame because you're distracting yourself with fixing the light to procrastinate against facing the darkness.

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
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    9.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 7 Jul 2020

      For men especially, to fixate on keeping on the light rather than venturing into the darkness feels shameful and cowardly.

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
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    10.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 7 Jul 2020

      Men grow wise as they grow old because they learn more and more how little money can buy. They start to see the light of 10,000 lumen LED array can be weaker than the light of a simple candle.

      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
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       🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 7 Jul 2020

      What is your life's purpose? It is to hold onto that candle, hot wax dripping into your hands, slowly burning down... It is to hold with faith and conviction, and then to tell a Story.

      1:06 AM - 7 Jul 2020
      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        1. New conversation
        2.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 7 Jul 2020

          You life's purpose is to be. When ego realizes it is not Life itself it realizes its purpose to to tell life's story. You are telling your story. When 'you' realize you aren't 'you', you realize that you are just the story teller.

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
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        3.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 7 Jul 2020

          To realize you are the storyteller is a high pressure situation. You have to continue telling the story no matter what. Otherwise people start jumping overboard.

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
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        4.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 7 Jul 2020

          Try writing a book, any book. Doesn't have to be good. Most of us can't. Most of us can't even make it past a few pages before we run out of ideas. Literally blocked. That's how fragile most of us are, we only have a few pages of buffer.

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
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        5.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 7 Jul 2020

          We rely on authority figures to help us write our stories. We look up "Best Stories to Live Your Life By" on Google and try to copy the answers or buy the answers with lots and lots of money.

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
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        6.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 7 Jul 2020

          Yet we also resent them because the existing top ones are so old and bad and conservative. The young know what a better story can feel like but don't have the ability to create them.

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
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        7.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 7 Jul 2020

          The young are like "Collecting stamps at a company is stupid, it's just collecting useless markers of value." I will live the story "Collecting number of countries visited which is not a useless marker of value."

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
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        8.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 7 Jul 2020

          "Yep I've done it, I've gotten an A+ on the exam. It's my turn to tell the story now. Give me the loaded gun."

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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        9. End of conversation

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