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This sort of freedom is the ultimate loaded gun. A great power that should come with great responsibility and discipline. This is the power of "I don't care if I die."

This is what makes a visionary so compelling to follow, you feel they are willing to die for their beliefs. You who are scared of death on your path follows the one who sees death, and goes towards it willingly and even obsessively.

Without such leaders who are willing to die for something, followers have nothing to live for. Life is excruciating for them. Without anything to live for they must find something to die for, even if it's within a suicide vest.

You have to be "ready" before you can face the reality that there's nothing to live for. Otherwise that darkness crushes you.

The brain is an answer providing machine, it will make stuff up before it admits it doesn't know. To have a question that doesn't have an answer like "What is the meaning of life?" is a constant source of anxiety for it.

It will desperately put up shitty answer after answer in a desperate attempt to pretend that the darkness doesn't exist. The ego's job is to protect against death. When it realizes death/entropy is inevitable it realizes it has a bull shit job.

Ego's job is literally to stick its fingers in the holes of the ship knowing it's sinking while everyone else is partying about. Ego's job is to keep the party going.

A resentful ego that is immature and can't face death resents this. It devises all sorts of ways to get other people to face death instead. It surrounds itself with happy and positive people, forcing conformation to external markers of happiness and positivity.

A mature ego is one that is prepared to face death. Because of that willingness it can plow through any problem. But because of that willingness it never figures out ways to slow down death.

It's the coward who invents the gun in a world of spears. It's the cowards who invents the spear in a world of fists.

Energy is released when the immature develops into the mature. True growth can be felt and feels magical. Pseudo growth feels like formula following as actions are copied robotically, it feels fake.

The process of growth feels like a process of facing the darkness. Poor people have an advantage here. You have to face it instead of shield yourself from it in a mountain of money.

If you never have to face darkness you never truly grow even if you intellectually know the 'right' behaviors. It's the real wolf in the darkness you have to face. Not some video game.

Money corrupts because it's driven by a fear of fear. Money can be burned to produce light that can drive away existential darkness. When you fear to lose money you are fearful of losing the light rather than facing the darkness.

Fear of facing the darkness empowers you to grow. Fear of losing the light only provides anxiety and guilt and shame because you're distracting yourself with fixing the light to procrastinate against facing the darkness.

For men especially, to fixate on keeping on the light rather than venturing into the darkness feels shameful and cowardly.

Men grow wise as they grow old because they learn more and more how little money can buy. They start to see the light of 10,000 lumen LED array can be weaker than the light of a simple candle.

What is your life's purpose? It is to hold onto that candle, hot wax dripping into your hands, slowly burning down... It is to hold with faith and conviction, and then to tell a Story.

You life's purpose is to be. When ego realizes it is not Life itself it realizes its purpose to to tell life's story. You are telling your story. When 'you' realize you aren't 'you', you realize that you are just the story teller.

To realize you are the storyteller is a high pressure situation. You have to continue telling the story no matter what. Otherwise people start jumping overboard.

Try writing a book, any book. Doesn't have to be good. Most of us can't. Most of us can't even make it past a few pages before we run out of ideas. Literally blocked. That's how fragile most of us are, we only have a few pages of buffer.

We rely on authority figures to help us write our stories. We look up "Best Stories to Live Your Life By" on Google and try to copy the answers or buy the answers with lots and lots of money.

Yet we also resent them because the existing top ones are so old and bad and conservative. The young know what a better story can feel like but don't have the ability to create them.

The young are like "Collecting stamps at a company is stupid, it's just collecting useless markers of value." I will live the story "Collecting number of countries visited which is not a useless marker of value."