Integrating new knowledge leaves me feeling drained yet fulfilled. It’s a state where I have no excess energy or willpower except to enjoy rest. It’s like my neurons are fried and have to rest. Productivity without learning is the only maintainable kind.
That’s why we consider the hardworking company man to be the opposite of the professor. Productivity is opposed to learning because it drains away efficiency. It’s friction that stops the flywheel.
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If you can’t focus for long periods of time, you lean towards following your curiosity and learning. If you can, towards efficient thinking.
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The “perfect” student ironically isn’t learning very much because they’ve shut down their curiosity and distilled the test into a formula with complex steps to follow which they brute force.
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The lifelong learners ironically thinks of productivity as learning even though in the business world there is no desire to learn except to manage risk. The learners never fit in because their attempts to be productive look like waste.
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The mind should be flexible in both. They represent the two ends of meditation. The mind used to build laser focused consciousness. And tbe kind used to build creative exploratory consciousness.
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Choose the meditation that you’re weak at. Don’t choose the one you’re good at and claim to be getting more balanced. It should feel draining.
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When bored. Drain that excess energy away. Consciousness that overfills its cup is ego. Like sugar in the blood. Work it off or it accumulates and festers.
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End of conversation
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