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When you try to understand someone too directly the response is "Don't try to understand me!". The intimacy feels invasive.

People who have had bad childhoods haven't felt Love enough to be able to re-recognize it in their adult lives. It's not that they don't have a compass but that they never had someone to calibrate it for them. Or worse, calibrated in a malicious and manipulative way.

That's why their behavior can be so terrible, worse than random. With a compass calibrated 180 degrees EVERYTHING they do is reversed. The more they try to do Good, the more they just do more Bad.

Calibration is easiest as a child but get much harder as you grow up. Many are "lost causes" where their consciousness become Gordian Knots that only release on death.

Enlightenment is the release of this knot, a joyous letting go. Knowledge of how the string is specifically knotted is unimportant. Technical know-how in this area may actually inhibit actually untying the knot as you get it tighter and tighter vs gently shaking it out

Systems get knotted up when there's too much slack. Things loop over and underbut it isn't obvious that they're getting knotted. Once that string tightens though, such systems choke to death.

Cutting the knot is another painful way to "release." This is the understanding and acceptance of sacrifice. The entrepreneur who tried. The soldier who died. It's the hand that slices the deers neck without closing the heart in order to do so.

Bodhisattvas curiously are probably not enlightened but applying their greater technical knowledge of enlightenment in order to help others. Exactly the role of a therapist.