Minister of Loneliness

@_steamy_mac

Kiss me, my dad was a jockey. Dumpster/trashcan/poubelle/mülleimer

Garbage twitter
Vrijeme pridruživanja: ožujak 2018.

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  1. Prikvačeni tweet

    *batman voice Leave your panties on, I already came.

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  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    i’m foaming at the mouth cuz i eated soap duh 🙄

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  3. Ain’t nobody following me for my sparkling personality, I can tell you that, toots.

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Need a man so he can pump my gas for me

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  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 2 sata

    Sure, you can create your own fate, but it’s not nearly as satisfying as creating your own gaggle of Play-Doh™️ dicks.

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  6. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 58 minuta

    Them: Do something that makes you happy. Me: *eats pizza*

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  7. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    I’m always in my head so it’s easy af to startle me 🙄

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  8. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 4 sata

    I got fired from a volunteer position today. THAT’S WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT. Hell yes.

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 45 minuta

    Sometimes when I walk my dog, if I know people can see him shitting I bend over and pretend I’m picking up his shit, when he’s done, and then just walk off

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  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    I heard you were thinking of unfollowing me. You're not as dumb as your avi looks.

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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    “Gird up your loins, baby girl. Next stop is pleasure town,” I say as I secure the last strap on my assless chaps.

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  12. Not much, just laying around in discount lingerie, whipping myself in the gunt at bedtime.

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  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    My husband's pee stream sounded kind of enraged, this morning.

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  14. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 9 sati

    Please don't attempt to pet, or make eye contact with my emotional support potato

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  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 7 sati

    Where have all the permed mullets gone?

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 7 sati

    For the next potluck, at work, I've signed myself up to bring a bowl of raisin-stuffed grapes.

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  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 4 sata

    “Psychoanalysis and dynamic psychiatry (...) [is a] means for obscuring and disguising moral and political conflicts as mere personal problems.” Thomas Szasz

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  18. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 11 sati

    *swallows fistful of pills* Let's ride

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 4 sata

    There’s a lot of nudity here today.

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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 4 sata

    I'm just a boy standing in front of a girl and fellas she is not impressed let me tell ya

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  21. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 4 sata

    My employees: Oh cool Tasha brought us a basket of Starburst Red candies for Valentine's. Also my employees: That fucking whore also took out all the pink Starburst. I hate her.

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