Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

Real-life stories of the world's worst superhero | IAmFloridaMan[at]gmail[dot]com

Everywhere, FL
Joined January 2013
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  1. 12 Oct 2017

    Clearly not very well.

    Florida man hid cameras in his Airbnb bedroom
    17 replies 261 retweets 1,133 likes
  2. 25 Sep 2017

    Yes, because he was a beacon of tolerance and understanding before he became president

    Shad Khan, who donated $1M to Trump, says he’s become ‘appalled’ at president’s ‘divisive, polarizing’ actions
    26 replies 159 retweets 1,146 likes
  3. 21 Sep 2017

    Sweet. I love Pearl Jam.

    lmao Florida
    135 replies 676 retweets 3,083 likes
  4. 10 Sep 2017

    I am never NOT thinking about that place

    Just heard from friend w/family in Key West. The Hemingway house is intact as are the 6 toed cats, for those thinking about that place.
    8 replies 240 retweets 1,229 likes
  5. 10 Sep 2017

    Only Florida can turn what was going to be a climate change debate into a gun control debate

    12 replies 469 retweets 1,624 likes
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  6. Retweeted
    9 Sep 2017

    👇

    Hey everyone here for shooting guns at hurricanes...how about you RT this, too, and get some volunteers for our shelters?
    2 replies 129 retweets 311 likes
  7. 9 Sep 2017

    👇

    Hey everyone here for shooting guns at hurricanes...how about you RT this, too, and get some volunteers for our shelters?
    2 replies 129 retweets 311 likes
  8. 9 Sep 2017

    77 replies 3,720 retweets 7,905 likes
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  9. 9 Sep 2017

    NARRATOR: They couldn’t.

    Greg and Sue reckon they can ride out Irma on their 40ft boat at Dania Beach Marina.
    38 replies 755 retweets 2,819 likes
  10. 8 Sep 2017

    Florida, I fucking love you. Stay safe out there, everyone. ❤️

    27 replies 572 retweets 3,030 likes
  11. 5 Sep 2017

    [I come out of the bushes and begin banging pots and pans together while shouting] THIS IS ABOUT DONALD TRUMP, THE PRESIDENT!!

    "For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me"; Matthew 25:35
    8 replies 114 retweets 524 likes
  12. 2 Sep 2017

    Me trying to act low key

    9 replies 210 retweets 767 likes
  13. 31 Aug 2017

    They should just hire me, tbh.

    The job posting for a Miami Bureau Chief actually references .
    9 replies 100 retweets 615 likes
  14. 9 Aug 2017

    The only contender, as far as I'm concerned

    13 replies 621 retweets 1,888 likes
  15. 7 Aug 2017

    The only thing that shocks me here is just how much Jay Cutler and Florida are made for each other

    22 replies 429 retweets 1,047 likes
  16. 30 Jul 2017

    Same

    the time has come for verifed mark
    2 replies 25 retweets 281 likes
  17. 20 Jul 2017

    Of course.

    Breaking: O.J. Simpson says he would return to Florida if granted parole
    58 replies 982 retweets 2,645 likes
  18. 20 Jul 2017

    Ah, yes. Show how annoyed you are that they’re working outside your house by making sure they can’t leave.

    1:00
    Florida man pissed that AT&T trucks are working outside his house shoots out their tires because Florida
    39 replies 736 retweets 1,676 likes
  19. 12 Jul 2017

    I think Kellyanne Conway is trying to tell us something.

    64 replies 1,447 retweets 3,951 likes
  20. 12 Jul 2017

    i...worked on this story for a year.... and he... he just tweeted it out

    Me and all my friends at the 10pm Ninga Turtle movie brother HH
    16 replies 430 retweets 1,967 likes

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