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_StevenFan's profile
Steven Fan
Steven Fan
Steven Fan
@_StevenFan

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Steven Fan

@_StevenFan

🌕😈☀️ "Nasty little Buddhist" Seeking via neuroscience and psychology informed dharma.

Portland, OR
Joined May 2013

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    1. selentelechia‏ @selentelechia Apr 13
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      claim 4: response patterns that can broadly be described as "defensive" (flinch, pain, shrink, yell, fight, turn red, run away, limit routes for sensory input, etc) are triggered in response to the *disruption of expectation*

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    2. selentelechia‏ @selentelechia Apr 13
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      selentelechia Retweeted selentelechia

      I'm using "expectation" in a maybe-idiosyncratic way or maybe just a narrow way it's related to the anticipating/predicting process I mentioned here:https://twitter.com/selentelechia/status/1249760196060012544?s=20 …

      selentelechia added,

      selentelechia @selentelechia
      I noticed another parallel process spinning up predictions developing expectations for the sorts of sounds I might hear developing a plan for ignoring them
      Show this thread
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    3. selentelechia‏ @selentelechia Apr 13
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      for the sake of this thread, "expectation" means what it means most of the time and also implies a sort of...clutching? feeling "the world is/will be like this" + [effort/strain/tension/clinging/needing] so maybe: "the world has to be like this" (or what? 😃)

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    4. selentelechia‏ @selentelechia Apr 13
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      something I haven't figured out yet is like am I trying to *preserve* that "expectation?" or am I trying to *avoid the pain* of having to alter it?

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    5. selentelechia‏ @selentelechia Apr 13
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      if the former, it might be that the pain is there as a protective mechanism if the latter...why does it hurt, to alter the expectation?

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    6. selentelechia‏ @selentelechia Apr 13
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      why is it that, under a variety of conditions involving fear, tension, uncertainty, stress, exhaustion, etc my mind spins up a process of predicting the set of all possible and/or acceptable sensory input?

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    7. selentelechia‏ @selentelechia Apr 13
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      why does it *hurt* to suddenly have my grasp on that process loosened, in response to unanticipated sensory data?

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    8. selentelechia‏ @selentelechia Apr 13
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      more questions: -do thoughts count as sensory data? are there thoughts that, if they arise unexpectedly, cause my grip on the process to "slip?" -actual *outcomes* are almost always better when my grip on the process relaxes...so why did this pattern arise in the first place?

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    9. Steven Fan‏ @_StevenFan Apr 13
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      Replying to @selentelechia

      being in control helps deal with the stress of uncertainty, a YOU are the cause of the effect, to the detriment of the magic of uncertainty and that which comes from spontaneous imagination

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
    10. selentelechia‏ @selentelechia Apr 13
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      Replying to @_StevenFan

      it isn't *effective* control, though I think what I'm maybe seeing here is like a hack that I developed sometime in early childhood that got picked up by my entire brain for all sorts of bullshit it was never meant for

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      Steven Fan‏ @_StevenFan Apr 13
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      Replying to @selentelechia

      Its purpose is to *deal with stress*, not make outcomes the best but good enough to imagined specs. To be fair to your brain, there a universe of uncertainty around and being in control is adaptive.

      11:19 PM - 13 Apr 2020
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        1. New conversation
        2. selentelechia‏ @selentelechia Apr 14
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          Replying to @_StevenFan

          yeah I guess it does make some sense given that (assuming my narrative is true) I had zero information about things like long term consequences

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        3. Steven Fan‏ @_StevenFan Apr 14
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          Replying to @selentelechia

          My original relationship to control is one of extremes: self-sabotaging perfectionist, or unstructured. Been building out a healthy middle ground. The people I love who over-wield control tho functionally + effectively have the blind spot of not seeing how it limits serendipity.

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        4. End of conversation

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