I have a group of guys that we get together and beer together every few months. The night always starts with engineering small talk about how to improve the brew system. Ends with going as deep as possible. last time I asked people with the most violent thing they ever saw was.
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b.c. of meditation an additional small talk category I have is now emotional / relational.
End of conversation
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"Nasty little Buddhist"
Seeking via neuroscience and psychology informed dharma.