oof I'm so sorry that this is how you feel :( I think it's very important to accept that people *will* be mad at you, and that's information, but the information is *never* "you are irredeemably bad and furthermore it's your fault" easy to say, so hard to internalize
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Replying to @sonyasupposedly


thank you!! i def agree (especially with "hard to internalize")-- i don't even mind if people are *predictably* angry at me in a way that i think is irrational, bc self-righteousness trumps anxiety i guess
it's unpredictably disappointing people that's frightening1 reply 0 retweets 7 likes -
Replying to @goblinodds @sonyasupposedly
What is the worst thing that can come of an unexpected disappointment and how can you avoid or insure against that risk until it's safe?
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Replying to @makoConstruct @sonyasupposedly
i see what you did there i think it's something i haven't been explicitly aware of till v recently; will try to keep these questions in mind :)
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Replying to @makoConstruct @sonyasupposedly
oh, i figured the obvious answers were that the "worst thing" is actually not particularly bad, and that there's nothing you can do to avoid it w 100% certainty i believe they're fairly standard therapy questions asked of anxious people (or at least the former) w good reason
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Replying to @goblinodds @makoConstruct
I have yet to meet someone with anxiety who didn't catastrophize. Another good question: What does your anxiety do for you? How does it serve your internal emotional system(s)? Is that service actually useful to you? If so, can it be replaced or improved to be healthier?
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Replying to @sonyasupposedly @makoConstruct
thanks for these! hmm i wonder if it would be helpful to find genuine answers like "it makes me a more considerate person" rather than "lol it is trash it does nothing"
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Replying to @goblinodds @makoConstruct
I mean this on a deeper level. Like, in my observations — may or may not match to you personally — anxiety is a way of emotionally processing fear and lack of control; risks are automatically either magnified or invented.
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Colloquially, as you know, the chemistry of anxiety brain is feeling like you're in fight-or-flight mode all the time. Anxiety = we live in a dangerous world that requires constant vigilance and "appropriately" extreme emotional responses. Self-protection mechanism gone rogue
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Treading as a guest in this thread. I freeze when I'm anxious. I didn't know how to interact with my father because he's emotionally unreadable. This stance of being still and paying attention because I don't know the rules still patterns much of my life.
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oof :( that sucks but also brings to mind funny "deer in the headlight" images think i do the opposite, like full-engagement jester mode, so it's not surprising people seem not to comprehend when i tell them i'm highly anxious and very very tired
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"Nasty little Buddhist"
Seeking via neuroscience and psychology informed dharma.