*Even if* somebody went around saying, "I demand you call me 'she' and furthermore I claim to have two X chromosomes!", which none of my trans colleagues have ever said to me by the way, it still isn't a question-of-empirical-fact whether she should be called "she". It's an act.
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In everyday social situations, refer to people in a way that won't offend them. It's a small gesture of kindness and the alternative degrades trust. This is a rule of thumb among many, a social framework if you will, that keeps people talking to neighborly and cooperating.
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"Nasty little Buddhist"
Seeking via neuroscience and psychology informed dharma.