Florida Man’s Tweets
🚨 BREAKING: MUELLER NEWS 🚨
Only joking, but for real, the Florida Legislature is trying to disenfranchise voters with some bullshit shenanigans. Sign this petition to prove you’re cool and I’ll follow you out of solidarity. change.org/p/florida-legi
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I’ve seen some truly insane things come out of Florida over the last few years, but I don’t think anything has shocked me more than what the state legislature is currently trying to do to the voting rights of ex-felons. slate.com/news-and-polit
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Okay, earnest tweets over. I promise I'll tweet something funny again soon.
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For real, I currently only follow Jimmy Buffett, but I'm willing to let that insanely funny bit die for this cause, because it clearly deserves more attention.
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I've never done anything like this before, but if you think it's wrong for the Florida Legislature to take away people's voting rights, please sign this petition. If you do, and tweet a screenshot as proof, I'll follow you. (On Twitter, not in real life.)
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...only make it harder for returning citizens to vote. The very opposite of what the initiative is intended to do.
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Instead of simply restoring people's rights, which is what people voted for, they're trying to make it so that you can't vote unless you've repaid all your outstanding fines and court fees. Essentially creating a poll tax that everyone agrees will...
*drum roll*
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If you don't know, FL voted overwhelmingly last year to restore voting rights to felons who've completed their sentences. Now some politicians (coincidentally, the same ones who will likely lose a ton of influence as a result of this new law) have decided to change the rules.
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I’ve seen some truly insane things come out of Florida over the last few years, but I don’t think anything has shocked me more than what the state legislature is currently trying to do to the voting rights of ex-felons.
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Florida Man Fire Bombs Garage That Impounded His Car, Hits His Own Vehicle wftv.com/news/local/man
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Florida Man Accused of Masturbating in Front of Children Says He Was Just Adjusting His Hernia wric.com/news/national/
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Florida Man Steals $33,000 Worth of Rare Coins, Cashes Them in CoinStar Machine for $29.30 palmbeachpost.com/news/20190222/
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Florida Man Steals $33,000 Worth of Rare Coins, Cashes Them in CoinStar Machine for $29.30 palmbeachpost.com/news/20190222/
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Uh-oh, I think I know where this is going.
*clicks on article*
Well that wasn’t what I was expecting. Touchè, Florida.
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Roses are red
Valentine’s Day was swell
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Security Camera Catches Florida Man Licking Doorbell kvoa.com/news/2019/02/1
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Roses are red
Valentine’s Day was swell
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Security Camera Catches Florida Man Licking Doorbell kvoa.com/news/2019/02/1
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Florida Man Who Earns $18K a Year Convinces IRS to Give Him $1 Million Tax Refund cnbc.com/2019/02/14/how
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Security Camera Catches Florida Man Licking Doorbell kvoa.com/news/2019/02/1
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Florida Man Steals Opioids From Lockbox and JK They're Actually Laxatives miamiherald.com/news/state/flo
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The fact these two are neighbors is surprising and, if you know anything about Florida, makes total sense.
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FBI arrested my neighbor Roger before my morning jog, I’ve only seen shit like that in movies, crazy to start to my Friday
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UPDATE: Florida Man Says Jesus Told Him to Drive Ferrari Off Pier nbc-2.com/story/39799057
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Florida Man Eats Police Car floridakeyssheriff.blogspot.com/2019/01/man-ch
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GoFundMe Forced to Hand Out Refunds After Florida Man Breaks Promise to Build Wall Between US and Mexico axios.com/gofundme-refun
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Florida Woman Chases Parents With 12” Knife Because They Wouldn’t Take Her to Outback Steakhouse
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This is what the monster from the Shape of Water has been driving since the film won Best Picture.
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Florida Man Drives Ferrari Off Dock and Into Sea wptv.com/news/region-c-
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Guards Let Florida Man Vape in Prison Because He Helped Them With Their Taxes miami.cbslocal.com/2019/01/03/inv
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