Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

(RETIRED)

Everywhere, FL
Joined January 2013
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  1. Pinned Tweet
    15 Jul 2019

    I spoke to the about how this account started and why I’m not doing it any more.

    55 replies 196 retweets 696 likes
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  2. 23 Mar 2019

    🚨 BREAKING: MUELLER NEWS 🚨 Only joking, but for real, the Florida Legislature is trying to disenfranchise voters with some bullshit shenanigans. Sign this petition to prove you’re cool and I’ll follow you out of solidarity.

    I’ve seen some truly insane things come out of Florida over the last few years, but I don’t think anything has shocked me more than what the state legislature is currently trying to do to the voting rights of ex-felons.
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    74 replies 165 retweets 469 likes
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  3. 23 Mar 2019

    Okay, earnest tweets over. I promise I'll tweet something funny again soon.

    12 replies 8 retweets 154 likes
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  4. 23 Mar 2019

    For real, I currently only follow Jimmy Buffett, but I'm willing to let that insanely funny bit die for this cause, because it clearly deserves more attention.

    12 replies 36 retweets 249 likes
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  5. 23 Mar 2019

    I've never done anything like this before, but if you think it's wrong for the Florida Legislature to take away people's voting rights, please sign this petition. If you do, and tweet a screenshot as proof, I'll follow you. (On Twitter, not in real life.)

    42 replies 75 retweets 192 likes
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  6. 23 Mar 2019

    ...only make it harder for returning citizens to vote. The very opposite of what the initiative is intended to do.

    1 reply 21 retweets 121 likes
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  7. 23 Mar 2019

    Instead of simply restoring people's rights, which is what people voted for, they're trying to make it so that you can't vote unless you've repaid all your outstanding fines and court fees. Essentially creating a poll tax that everyone agrees will... *drum roll*

    6 replies 29 retweets 127 likes
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  8. 23 Mar 2019

    If you don't know, FL voted overwhelmingly last year to restore voting rights to felons who've completed their sentences. Now some politicians (coincidentally, the same ones who will likely lose a ton of influence as a result of this new law) have decided to change the rules.

    4 replies 28 retweets 136 likes
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  9. 23 Mar 2019

    I’ve seen some truly insane things come out of Florida over the last few years, but I don’t think anything has shocked me more than what the state legislature is currently trying to do to the voting rights of ex-felons.

    44 replies 265 retweets 604 likes
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  10. 4 Mar 2019

    42 replies 814 retweets 2,553 likes
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  11. 4 Mar 2019

    Florida Man Fire Bombs Garage That Impounded His Car, Hits His Own Vehicle

    16 replies 127 retweets 561 likes
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  12. 4 Mar 2019

    19 replies 374 retweets 2,023 likes
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  13. 3 Mar 2019

    (via )

    2 replies 7 retweets 60 likes
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  14. 3 Mar 2019

    he comin’

    87 replies 1,288 retweets 4,846 likes
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  15. 3 Mar 2019

    Florida Man Accused of Masturbating in Front of Children Says He Was Just Adjusting His Hernia

    76 replies 105 retweets 503 likes
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  16. 26 Feb 2019

    13 replies 629 retweets 2,638 likes
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  17. Retweeted
    25 Feb 2019

    Florida Man Steals $33,000 Worth of Rare Coins, Cashes Them in CoinStar Machine for $29.30

    153 replies 1,621 retweets 4,876 likes
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  18. 25 Feb 2019

    Hell yeah, now we’re talking.

    45 replies 779 retweets 2,463 likes
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  19. 25 Feb 2019

    Florida Man Steals $33,000 Worth of Rare Coins, Cashes Them in CoinStar Machine for $29.30

    153 replies 1,621 retweets 4,876 likes
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  20. 23 Feb 2019

    Uh-oh, I think I know where this is going. *clicks on article* Well that wasn’t what I was expecting. Touchè, Florida.

    26 replies 232 retweets 1,470 likes
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