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  1. Festet tweet
    10. apr. 2018

    That face when you just wanted a faster way to rank girls by looks and ended up installing a fascist government in the most powerful country on earth

    Vis denne tråden
    Angre
  2. Update: I pressed the pie button and a multicolor light came on where the call attendant light normally is

    Vis denne tråden
    Angre
  3. Been in NYC for 8 hours, and I’ve already eaten a subway churro, saw Mamma Mia with , and trained a rat army to do my bidding

    Vis denne tråden
    Angre
  4. Guys my airplane remote has a pie button

    Vis denne tråden
    Angre
  5. If you like lunch, me, and helping The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, have I got the thing for you:

    Angre
  6. Retweetet
    for 22 timer siden

    Just realized the map of my office building looks like marge simpson

    Angre
  7. Retweetet
    25. apr.

    property management company: thanks for submitting a repair ticket. we'll have someone call you in 1-12 weeks me: awesome thank you private landlord: sorry to hear your roof caved in. my son Bonzo is on his way over to fix it with a blowtorch me: awesome thank you

    Angre
  8. 26. apr.

    If this is ever how I spend my birthday, kill me

    Angre
  9. 25. apr.
    Angre
  10. 25. apr.

    I guess he was... BIDEN his time

    Angre
  11. 25. apr.

    This show made me full-on cry laughing top to bottom, I cannot choose a favorite line, it is all pure gold. Tim Robinson, Zach Kanin, & are mad geniuses

    Angre
  12. 24. apr.

    Remember when 1990 was always 10 years ago, and now all the sudden it’s 30 years ago

    Vis denne tråden
    Angre
  13. 24. apr.

    When it’s your birthday and you bring cupcakes for the whole class

    Vis denne tråden
    Angre
  14. 23. apr.

    If you’re ever feeling old, remember age is just a number, which measures if you are falling behind on personal and professional milestones as compared to your peers

    Angre
  15. 23. apr.

    I made & box each other while hashing out their actual roommate problems, and honestly, it went well

    Angre
  16. 22. apr.

    Wow thanks to I have been reunited with my daughter

    Angre
  17. 22. apr.

    Going on a plane the rest of today, so to summarize what I would’ve tweeted about: -Elizabeth Warren has good ideas -Detective Pikachu looks delightful -Trump has a bad body -The Earth has 8 more good years, tops

    Angre
  18. 21. apr.

    Did you know the Last Supper was actually a goodbye dinner for a friend who got a job in LA

    Vis denne tråden
    Angre
  19. 20. apr.

    When you lie on your resume and get the job

    Angre
  20. 20. apr.

    I don’t care what your politics are, you gotta admit my Mom’s sink is fun

    Angre
  21. 20. apr.

    .’s new Hulu show is bonkers and brilliant. Practice some self-care and watch the damn thing

    Angre

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