Zack BornsteinOvjeren akaunt

@ZackBornstein

Emmy-losing Writer / Director / Comedian (, , , , , ). Former neuroscientist, tween.

Los Angeles, CA
Vrijeme pridruživanja: lipanj 2009.

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  1. Prikvačeni tweet

    That face when you just wanted a faster way to rank girls by looks and ended up installing a fascist government in the most powerful country on earth

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  2. Too early to call, but White is taking a commanding lead

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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Based on the push notification I just got, CNN must be running graphics like EARLY WINNERS IN IOWA* Biden Buttigieg Warren Zsanders *alphabetical order, not ranked

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    MSNBC's long-time "analyst" and host Chris Matthews arguing that Bernie has an advantage in Iowa because caucuses are almost like meetings and socialists "like meetings."

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  5. My cats when I put out a can of soft food

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  6. I thought the RNC wasn’t til August

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  7. This impeachment is like if half the jurors in the Nuremberg Trials were Nazis

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  8. My favorite new trend is mediocre artists going bananas for their own music in a sterile conference room for a handful of music executives who feel forced to smile

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  9. Mitt Romney every time a new piece of evidence drops

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  10. If there were no Facebook or FOX News, we’d be arguing with France right now about whether geothermal or wind power is more effective in winter months, instead of screaming with ourselves over the definition of Nazis and crimes

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  11. Republican senators when presented with evidence of the President’s crimes

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  12. Me: I don’t care what people think of me. *someone says something about me* Me:

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  13. This Senate trial is like if all of the jurors for O.J. had helped him kill Nicole

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  14. Every fork at your favorite restaurant has been in 100's of strangers' mouths

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  15. Remember when Trump committed a new impeachable offense five days ago, and you don’t even know which one I’m talking about

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  16. He hath struck again

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  17. Where my fella 13s at?

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  18. I can’t even imagine Donald and Melania hugging

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  19. Prikaži ovu nit
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  20. If we shut up about Bernie/Warren, we’ll hear my man Lev blowing the whole thing wide open over at Rachel’s

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  21. To my Boomer friends asking, “to stan” someone means to be a huge fan of them. It’s a reference to Stanley Yelnats, who in the book Holes by Louis Sachar, is such a fan of his friend Zero, that he carries him up a mountain to break the curse of the yellow-spotted lizard.

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