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  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    5. velj

    If you're in your 40's and accidentally sneeze while you're laying down, congrats, you're paralyzed now

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  2. I'm not really a religious person except for when I'm praying to not be pregnant

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  3. Ok so when Anne Geddes takes pictures of naked babies sleeping in baskets that's cute but i do it with the old people at the nursing home and I'm the creepy inappropriate one

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 1 sat

    I guess it’s gonna be one of those days.

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  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    I once held a door open for nine days

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  6. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj

    The best part about twitter is how all the women are super nice to each other.

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  7. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    Please stop talking about how horny you are. You look like a potato

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  8. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    25. lis 2017.

    That's great that you do crossfit, I run out of breath singing with the radio

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 23 sata

    When Bernie is screwed out of the nomination again, his supporters will riot and it will not be pretty. Dildos and glitter will be EVERYWHERE

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  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. velj

    aside from dickhole, what do you think is the most romantic word in english?

    Prikaži ovu nit
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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    6. velj

    If I unfollowed you it's only because I didn't want to follow you anymore.

    Prikaži ovu nit
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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    People who follow me are usually quickly disappointed.

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  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 16 sati

    If you see someone tweeting some real angry shit, it doesn’t matter whether you agree or disagree with them, what matters is that you go into the replies and fan the flames a bit so we can all enjoy the meltdown

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  14. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    31. sij

    Love yourself, fuckface.

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  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 13 sati

    Wife: Wanna fool around tonight? Me: I haven’t shaved, I'm really gassy and my hemorrhoids are killing me. Wife: You could have just said “no.” Me [already naked]: WHY WOULD I SAY NO?

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  16. Oh great that bearded guy is doing emotional sex tweets again i guess he finally got his pussy eaten or something

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  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 2 sata

    I've hit the age where I say "Look how that person parked"... a lot.

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  18. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    People who use an app to keep track of who unfollows you, you know you can just not give a fuck, right?

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 2 sata

    Stop using the bad things that have happened in your life as an excuse not to get ahead. That’s MY thing.

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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    There is a certain level of I don’t give a fuck that will set you free

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  21. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    18. sij

    The greatest trick the Devil ever played was convincing the world there was a third Godfather movie.

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