Illegal standing #DumbThingsToBeArrestedFor
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The Man They Call Wooly Woolhouse
@WoolyWoolhouse
#MNTwins | #StPaulSaints | | #HashtagGames | #HusbandandFather | #PolishedMan | | Tweets are mine and not any employers'.
Woolhouseville, MinnesotaJoined January 2020
The Man They Call Wooly Woolhouse’s Tweets
#WhenIveGotNoClue I just Google for the answer, and - after scrolling past multiple pages of porn results - I sometimes find the answer.
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"I do not like green eggs and ass. I do not like them Sac-I-Am." #AddAssToAnything
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Missed last night's show? That's a shame. Don't make the same mistake twice. Next show is tomorrow night (Saturday 1/14) at 8pm at ! Tickets still available, and your first beer is included in your ticket price! #liveshow #twincities #brewerylife
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#AVoteForMeIs a vote for the greatest champion the United States has ever been able to call their own (allegedly.)
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Budweiser, The King Of Queens of Beers #DrunkSitcoms
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How can it be "MyPillow" if I don't own it? Isn't it still "Crazy Trumper's Pillow" until money changes hands? #StupidQuestionsAboutSleeping
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Where'd all those clearance and discounted Carlos Correa shirts and jerseys with the new #MNTwins logos go? I can't find them on any webstore all of a sudden, and time is a factor here...
Exhale into jars; save your warm breath for chilly nights. #CleverWaysToSaveEnergyAtHome
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I know retirements in wrestling are almost never permanent (at least the first few times) but even Vince McMahon's retirement was shorter than expected. #WWE #VinceMcMahon #Retirement #Please
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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtledoves #AvianFilms
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Doves #BirdsInFilmOrSong
Andrew Tate really couldn't handle a girl owning him, so he went and owned himself even harder. What a shithead.
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He sat down, knowing this would be the envy of every other shit-storm happening today. With his combination of refried beans and spicy ground beef, he was sure to win this season's Crap-a-thon. #IncludeEnvyStormSpicy
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"Before oxygen was discovered, humans breathed just like dirt or something." - , who also thinks autism didn't exist before it was discovered and quantified by scientists.
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There's an entire faction of Barbie fans who play with the dolls while eating brisket and spreading far-right conspiracy theories. They call themselves the Barbie-Q. #FakeBarbieFacts
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Barbie will be paying off the interest on the loan for her pink convertible until she's 90. #FakeBarbieFacts
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The big, romantic kiss at the end cannot have anything that makes a good kiss good. Just lip-to-lip, no movement, no tongue, less passion than a Disney cartoon. #RulesOfHallmarkMovies
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Dear MAGA folks: Hope it’s clear to you by now that Donald Trump disrespects you and thinks you are suckers.
#MajorAnnouncement
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Oh my goodness Trump’s “major announcement” is even more pathetic than I anticipated
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Carol of the Bowels #CrappyChristmasCarols
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"It's not Covid," she said, while coughing like she was trying to expel a baby of porcupines from within her lungs. I don't care that it's not Covid; I care that you think I want any other illness. Back out of my cubicle, now.
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Oh: and more Jack Duquesne.
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Rewatching #Hawkeye with my daughter, and we both agree: #Thunderbolts needs to have more Yelena and Kate Bishop interactions. This time, they should be sharing a bowl of mac & cheese IN an elevator. #marvelstudios #mcu
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BREAKING: The Biden White House unloads on Twitter owner Elon Musk over his attack on Dr. Fauci, calling his tweet “incredibly dangerous, “disgusting,” and “divorced from reality.” RT to thank President Biden and join if you want a Musk-free Twitter alternative!
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Originally Edward had another scissor appendage, too. #FakeTimBurtonFacts
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I'm playing both of these nights! Get tickets now: our last show was packed like a high-end, expensive meatball Hot Pocket!
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Jesters are performing on back-to-back nights this week!
Thurs 12/8 8pm - New Hope Cinema Grill fb.me/e/26dFOhPGx?mi
Fri 12/9 9pm - Torg Brewery fb.me/e/33QClOl7u?mi
#liveshow #livecomedy #twincities #HappyHolidays
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Now that's a funny- and festive- looking group!
#improv #comedy #improvcomedy #liveshows #livecomedy
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