The day is young, but apparently it's Women's Equality Day. Which means the corps are going to be signaling their butts off. I'm starting a thread. First up: Delta!pic.twitter.com/9z1fmEVcIi
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IBM is here, of course. 1899, isn't that over a century ago? I thought women were slaves and banned from public society back in those evil days.pic.twitter.com/ow6kCoAdIr
Charles Schwab chimes in with the obligatory hijabis. Can't just celebrate women, you've got to be intersectional if you want to stand out among the signaling hordes. IBM may have been hiring women in the 19th c., but Schwab is currently this thread's frontrunner of wokeness.pic.twitter.com/BuQmr6f2LH
A Woke Capital thread wouldn't be complete without some regional fed signaling. Those other cities have til the end of the day to poast their sermons, or else I'll put them on blast to antifa.pic.twitter.com/fXQnzPTTnV
Females make up 57% of sales employees at Merck, & we won't stop til that number is 100%! Of course anybody who knows anything about pharma sales knows what that's all about. Frankly, I'm surprised it's that low! (Don't know what I'm talking about? see: https://www.nytimes.com/2005/11/28/business/gimme-an-rx-cheerleaders-pep-up-drug-sales.html …)pic.twitter.com/WvJ6K3hQvq
"See how one woman is developing a possibly game-changing medication" See: Theranos, Elizabeth Holmes.pic.twitter.com/i8XxJNzwhA
Woke Fashion, naturally. Barney's, Revlon representin' here.pic.twitter.com/Qt4kUqFRfR
Cartoon Network straight up Malala-poasting. This is bottom of the barrel shitlib signaling. Cartoon Network is a shonda.pic.twitter.com/3WcThqj2Ya
"My advice to other young women --" I'ma stop you right there, cause you ain't young, Magda Yrizarry. 

pic.twitter.com/iAfgUx1ASK
The Swedes must signal, of course. It's their biological imperative.pic.twitter.com/lsZMqRDC3s
That GIF starts with the sassy black woman of course. The backbone of L'oreal I'm sure.
CC: @HumansOfFlat (also see the Cartoon Network poast above)pic.twitter.com/w01TqKrqOC
Of course, "our work's not done until equality is made real for all", i.e. our work will NEVER be done because they rage against nature. This line from the Declaration, followed by Emma Lazarus huddled masses schmaltz, are the two cringiest bits of boomer sentimentality.pic.twitter.com/VIaACJlQWE
Woke Junk food is committed to gender parity (more hard quotas?).pic.twitter.com/gW5MBlbF7q
Merck (featured once above already) is committed to gender parity by 2030 as well. Both Merck and Yum! Brands refer to Paradigm for Parity. Paradigm for Parity clearly has a lot of sway with Big Corp. Who exactly are these people re-making society in the name of their cause?pic.twitter.com/HwocRdaccH
Pretty holy to use a sacred brown body, but UBS gets docked points for being a day late.pic.twitter.com/pnCKAZHcpB
I want to know how exactly World Bank arrived at the figure 170 years. They pulled it out of their asses, right? Or blind extrapolation of amorphous “progress?” No reasonable man would take this seriously. These people need to be held responsible for their misleading bullshit!
“Workforce force”, probably a female proofreader
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