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  1. Prikvačeni tweet

    Another late one with the boys last night turned rowdy after too many beers, too many blunts, a lot too much whiskey. Then a turned over table, 2 black eyes & 3 broken noses as we set to it with fists again over whether Kitty or Mary Bennet ever would have got married and to whom

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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 24 sata

    to people who call it “supper” and not “dinner”: do you also have some crops to tend to? would you like me to go fetch you water from the well past the prairie? are the cold winter months coming? have you hunted for meat recently? is the bread ready? have you smelt the tears of

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. velj

    Female marsupials have a pouch so the fact that most dresses and skirts don't have pockets is a kanga-wrong.

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  5. "Misanthropy" is just a fancy word for having an excess amount of self-loathing, combined with a willingness to share.

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  6. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    6. velj

    courtney love used to like ann & nancy wilson but now there’s a Hole where her Heart used to be omg why do i keep doing this send tweet

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    Holy shit! Another Trump supporter wins the Internet!!! I don’t even have time to correct the spelling and grammar.

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  8. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 20 sati

    Priest: and do you take her in good vibes and in shade to flex and to slay as long as you both shall thirst, periodt? Me: I stan

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 19 sati

    me: gimme your wallet, i've got a knife crocodile dundee: that's not a knife *pulls out a bigger knife* this is a knife me: ok but mine is also a knife, do you know what knives are

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  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    I just hope we don't end up in cages on the border.

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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 15 sati

    You go to chop me in the throat with an open palm but you miss a little and suddenly I’m sucking on the web of your hand. You don’t know what the hell just happened, but you’re definitely not mad anymore.

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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    26. ožu 2019.

    Me: [as Luke Skywalker] *puts one leg out of the Taun Taun because it’s too hot*

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  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 7 sati

    The Lighthouse? More like “The Shitehouse”. 37.2K Retweets 93.4K Likes

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    "Boy, my kids could make a fortune" if they behaved like Hunter Biden, Trump says, omitting the fact that his kids are currently involved in international business dealings.

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  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    6. velj

    The DNC establishment has prepared 49 more unique devilish twists for Bernie, one for each state. There's gonna be an underwater state, a spikey pit state, a state where Shadow Bernie chases him,

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 24 sata

    guys are like “let’s keep things casual and by that i mean we do all the normal parts of a relationship like have sex and also be really emotionally intimate, but if i ever decide i don’t want to do that anymore i don’t have to talk to you about it i can just stop texting you.”

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  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 18 sati

    [inventor about to invent pajamas] sleepers need a uniform and it must be cute assistant: a “bediform” inventor: your idea is awful as usual rick new guy: they should be fuzzy inventor: i like you

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  18. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. velj

    the longest-serving gop speaker of the house was a child molester and is in prison

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. velj

    You’re coming from a place of immense privilege when you say things like “bernie or bust.” There are children in cages at the border. Pete Buttigieg, in collaboration with Amazon, has vowed to get those cages equipped with Alexa as soon as he gets into office

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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. velj

    Members of the "legally not guilty" club.

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  21. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. velj

    Pete Buttigieg pulling you into the conference room to tell you he’s noticed you’ve been leaving a little earlier than usual lately

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