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You know what one of my biggest issues is Anything related to Vivziepop makes me anxious Even today I see people saying she's a bad person and while that makes me anxious on it's own, I still think about how people will start calling me a homophobic, racist zoophile abuser--
because of my video It's always scary because once someone doesn't like you, they're not going to listen when you defend yourself and always assume the worst about you And sure people won't like you, but what about the people who will go out and spread misinformation about you?
Ever since I made that video that anxiety has never left the back of my head It gets so bad that sometime after it came out I would just search for when people share my video on twitter several times a day, I stopped for a bit but I just did it now after coming across someone--
--calling Vivziepop a horrible person again it all just actively ruins my mood so much, it's why I got so depressed towards the end of last year it's what I ramble on about the same things over and over, because it scares me that I'm suddenly being considered a horrible person--
--for not condemning people I remember tweeting about Contrapoints' video and people contacted me and I was freaking out like "oh no, I don't really feel like I'm about to be listened to, I feel doubted" nothing really came of it but these thoughts aren't good but I can never --
--get rid of them because it's an active fear that it'll happen
Like fuck, I've actively spoken to Vivziepop, I know what she's like and I know what's she's gone through but she's been put on this altar and no one really cares what she thinks or says She addresses what she says? People feel she's just making excuses or trying to save face.
And fuck I talk about bigotry and abuse all the time (not all is public but) fuck these are things I think about a lot why would I suddenly want to support people who support these things? I can't even comfortably watch JonTron anymore, I'm not gonna just ignore someone's done --
--something wrong just to consume their work
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