Justin Heard

@Ultamentkiller

If you're reading this, you're too curious. Look on Facebook if you actually want to see a profile. Not Twitter.

Georgia, USA
Vrijeme pridruživanja: siječanj 2010.

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  1. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    30. tra 2015.

    Screech up to a yard sale. Ask if they have any haunted amulets. Yell at the dog in your backseat, "I'm GETTING the spell reversed, Greg!"

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  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    1. velj

    do you guys still think life is short and we should hug our loved ones, or was that just last weekend

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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    “Self-care isn't always oils and baths. Sometimes it is seeing who you are and giving yourself permission to be. It is setting boundaries and saying no. Self-love is knowing your worth and not having guilt about doing you.” — Simi Fromen

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    “We all want everything to be okay. We don't even wish so much for fantastic or marvelous or outstanding. We will happily settle for okay, because most of the time, okay is enough.” — David Levithan

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  5. 28. sij

    I wonder. Do veterans get the man flu, or it just us boys who’ve never gone to war?

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  6. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    27. sij

    Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

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  7. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    22. sij

    Due to personal reasons I will be lying in the fetal position in the shower for the next 30 minutes

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  8. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    My favorite game is trying to take something out of the refrigerator without moving the other items in front of it. I call it Refrigerator Jenga, and when you lose you clean up marinara for 40 minutes.

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  9. 20. sij
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  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    VERY Happy to anounce that the FAMOUS defense attorney Alan Dershowitz will defend ME at MY impeachment! Dershowitz defended murderers like OJ Simpson and sex offenders like Jeffrey Epstein! He ONLY defends the WORST scum on this planet! He's the perfect person to defend ME!

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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    18. sij

    ron: i broke the rules mrs. weasley: unbelievable ur a fucken pathetic excuse of a son- harry: i was there too and i helped mrs. weasley: omg u helped that’s so sweet lol do u want a sweater

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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    17. sij

    I will never forget when my mom tried to use her cancer to get my sisters boyfriend of 7 years to propose by saying “don’t make me go to my oldest daughters wedding bald Steve” and he looked this woman dead in the eyes and responded “they make really good wigs now, Joan” ruthless

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  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    5-year-old: Do sharks have birthday parties? Me: I don't think so. 5: Maybe that's why they're so mean.

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  14. 18. sij

    I just got this party I’m at to play Dogs Like Socks by Psycho Stick in the background. Everyone got really confused. It made my day.

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  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    17. sij

    "Yield, foul beast!" the knight shouted. "Eh," the dragon shrugged. "Know, vile wyrm, that I chose good over evil a long time ago, and-" "Wait, what? When did you last choose good over evil?" "Why, when I was but a young squire." "You think you only have to choose once?"

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    9. kol 2018.

    me: are u 2 girls from England them: Wales u idiot me: sorry are u 2 whales from England

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  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    16. sij

    I am sure there are large swaths of the Kingkiller fandom that spend time arguing over the consistency of the magic system and world. But the galaxy brain concern is that Kvothe tells the tale of Wise Man's fear over a single day and the audiobook is 42 hours.

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  18. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    14. sij

    Me: My engine is making a loud clicking noise and- Mechanic: There's blood dripping from your trunk Me: Mechanic: Me: Mechanic: Me: So anyway my engine, which is at the *front*-

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    14. sij

    me: i'm so sorry, i lost our mortgage payments at the casino wife, furious: you piece of shit. you're no longer welcome in this house me: yeah after the 30th, neither are you

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  20. 14. sij

    4 of 5 stars to The Eye of the World by Robert Jordan

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