US Consumer Product Safety CommissionVerified account

How did I end up here?

The chairs in my house often hide around corners and behind doors. Right as I walk by, they jump out and try to trip me. I’ve tried yelling at the chairs, giving time outs, and even banishment to the garage. The chairs don’t give af and their behavior is very unsafe.

The occupant of the chair that sits behind the Resolute Desk is unsafe. Does that count?

Yes, radioactive chairs definitely should be returned to retailer. In a lead box, preferably.

Don’t forget about the *chase* lounges.