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USA TODAY
USA TODAY
USA TODAY
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USA TODAYVerified account

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The latest news and most interesting stories from USA TODAY. News that's meant to be shared.

USA TODAY HQ, McLean, Va.
usatoday.com
Joined August 2008

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    USA TODAY‏Verified account @USATODAY 12 Jun 2014

    In honor of Father's Day we'll be sharing some of the best (worst) "Dad Jokes." Share your dad's classics zingers with #DadJoke.

    7:35 AM - 12 Jun 2014
    • 48 Retweets
    • 52 Likes
    • Jeffrey J. Kupis Angela Rodriguez R. Dunn Josué Reis Dantas PEDRO ALFONSOBELTRAN Everton Vieira Pat McDermott Halil ibrahim QwertyStrange
    28 replies 48 retweets 52 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Craig 'The Rage'‏ @craigtherage 12 Jun 2014
        Replying to @USATODAY

        Heads up @jameshmm "@USATODAY: In honor of Father's Day we'll be sharing some of the best (worst) "Dad Jokes." #DadJoke.”

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. mylrs‏ @MundaneMyles 12 Jun 2014
        Replying to @USATODAY

        .@USATODAY my dad's favorite joke is the classic "pull my finger" but instead of farting he shits his pants :D what a kook!

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Jim.‏ @Bondcliff2008 12 Jun 2014
        Replying to @USATODAY

        @USATODAY @robdelaney My dad was an alcoholic who didn't make his child support payments so we could never afford to go to Disney #DadJoke

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Dave Kane‏Verified account @MamboDave 12 Jun 2014
        Replying to @USATODAY

        @USATODAY My Dad used to tell me I was a "melancholy baby; I had a head like a melon, and a face like a Collie." :D #DadJoke

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Derek‏ @ComplicitOwl 12 Jun 2014
        Replying to @USATODAY

        @HMXhenry RT @USATODAY: In honor of Father's Day we'll be sharing some of the best(worst) Dad Jokes. Share your dad's classics with #DadJoke

        6 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Aaron Trites‏ @aarontrites 12 Jun 2014
        Replying to @ComplicitOwl

        @ComplicitOwl @USATODAY What's Irish and only comes out in the warm weather? Paddy O'Furniture.

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      4. Derek‏ @ComplicitOwl 12 Jun 2014
        Replying to @aarontrites

        @HMXhenry @USATODAY Alright, there's one I haven't heard ever.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. Aaron Trites‏ @aarontrites 12 Jun 2014
        Replying to @ComplicitOwl

        @ComplicitOwl @USATODAY Pretty sure that's my favorite joke ever.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      6. End of conversation
      1. Vaughan‏ @vspowers 12 Jun 2014
        Replying to @USATODAY

        @USATODAY Dad: What's harder than my 6 year service in Vietnam? Me: I don't know. Dad: Your mom's gritty nipples. @robdelaney

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Jacob Steimer‏ @jschooljacob 12 Jun 2014
        Replying to @USATODAY

        @USATODAY Me: "I'm going to go change into a swimsuit real quick." Dad: "Don't change. I like you just the way you are." #dadjokes

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Angela Rodriguez‏ @angelakr88 12 Jun 2014
        Replying to @USATODAY

        .@USATODAY "No matter where you go, there you are" along with "bring it up at the next meeting" after a burp. #DadJokes

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Brien Neal‏ @brienneal 12 Jun 2014
        Replying to @USATODAY

        @USATODAY @CharlieFernandz

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. benjamon‏ @ben_deeznutz 12 Jun 2014
        Replying to @USATODAY

        @USATODAY @robdelaney ur mom #DadJoke

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Abby‏ @QuitYapping 12 Jun 2014
        Replying to @USATODAY

        @USATODAY @robdelaney It's better to be pissed off, than pissed on

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. bemny j‏ @bbeennyyJ 12 Jun 2014
        Replying to @USATODAY

        .@USATODAY @robdelaney I'll bet @coffee_dad has some good #DadJokes

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1.  👻BOOrker 🎃‏ @rybark13 12 Jun 2014
        Replying to @USATODAY

        @USATODAY @robdelaney after a #poo, we used to ask him if he sprayed (to clean the air). He would say a little but I wiped it up (the #poo).

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Jim.‏ @Bondcliff2008 12 Jun 2014
        Replying to @USATODAY

        One time, as a joke, I hid my dad's cigarettes and he got made and yelled and Christmas was ruined. #dadjoke cc:@USATODAY

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Seth Sanders‏ @SethLSanders 12 Jun 2014
        Replying to @USATODAY

        @USATODAY @robdelaney a little out of left field, but H.P. Lovecraft's At the Mountains of Dadness is pretty funny if you dig cosmic horror

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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