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  1. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj

    My husband has recently discovered that he's a coffee snob. Husband: I think I'd like a grinder. 12yo: Download it from the app store Me: Husband: 12yo:

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  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    So last night we lost one of our friends on the way to a party. Then I get on Twitter and see this...

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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    30. sij

    god: did you give the dinosaurs more muscle like I asked angel: wait what god: I told you to make them meatier angel: oh MEATier

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    30. sij

    buy 👏 your 👏honey👏straight👏from👏bees👏do👏business👏with👏bugs👏shake👏their👏little👏bug👏hands👏and👏say👏nice to meet you👏bug👏lets make a deal👏

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  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    29. sij

    I’ve got some NEWS for you people about WHY your salads are dull and flavorless. Are you ready for some NEWS???

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  6. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    28. sij

    most embarrassing email exchange I ever had: - Sent an email - They replied & called me "Mautice" - I reply with a stink about how my name is properly spelled and that it's actually really important to me - They told me to check my 1st email - I had misspelled my own name

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  7. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    27. sij

    “What is your dream job” “I don’t dream of labor” LMFAAOO

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  8. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    21. sij

    Tell me about a super-cool thing one of your ancestors/older family members did.

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    20. sij

    Dudes be asking about parties every night but failing calculus. Y’all worried bout the wrong functions bro lol

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  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    20. sij

    [pronounces “pineapples” like “minneapolis”]

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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    21. sij

    Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by friday

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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Honestly don’t invite me anywhere during this kind of weather dog I’ll just see u in March

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  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    19. sij

    Walked into my office and thought someone must have broken in because it looks trashed... and then I saw this little sweetie covering behind my computer. ❣️

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  14. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    17. sij

    I Can’t Find My Glasses Because I’m Not Wearing My Glasses: A Narrative of Courage in the Face of Adversity

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  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    18. sij

    regular weekend: damn hope I have time to do laundry three day weekend: 𝓂𝒶𝓎𝒷𝑒 𝐼’𝓁𝓁 𝓌𝓇𝒾𝓉𝑒 𝒶 𝒷𝑜𝑜𝓀

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    15. sij

    It's been 6 months since I joined the gym and no progress. I'm going there in person tomorrow to see what's really going on.

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  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    11. sij

    i want what they have

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  18. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    8. sij

    crazy how before dating apps the only way to meet someone was to bump headfirst into them while carrying a huge stack of important papers

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