One of the cores of cultivation is not emotionally pushing anything away, or emotionally pulling anything towards you. You can have preferences, but not emotional ones.
This is extraordinarily hard to do, only because your entire life you've used your mind wrong.
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Yeah, the connotations are really off the mark and need a lot of context-building to work as they are.
Been wondering what, if anything, to use instead.
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I'm starting to wonder if it's a necessary obstacle. We have millenia of bad cultural programming about what agency is supposed to be.
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When it turns out to be none of those things, using our culturally connotated terms won't cut it - even if we find the one that fits the best.