Starting to feel like something has been set in motion that cannot be easily reversed.
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For various personal reasons, my meditation practice and other key habits are in shambles, but my emotional equanimity is growing steadily.
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once you get the first awakening, you continue to the end, whether you reach it or not. Thus "best not started, one started best done."
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It's just interesting - for a while I felt like it was all going backwards in time, but something keeps pulling the other way... hard.
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The old habits return, but they seem not to want to stick very well.
It's like iron replaced with teflon.