Starting to feel like something has been set in motion that cannot be easily reversed.
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For various personal reasons, my meditation practice and other key habits are in shambles, but my emotional equanimity is growing steadily.
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once you get the first awakening, you continue to the end, whether you reach it or not. Thus "best not started, one started best done."
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It's just interesting - for a while I felt like it was all going backwards in time, but something keeps pulling the other way... hard.
The old habits return, but they seem not to want to stick very well.
It's like iron replaced with teflon.