When you stop bottling it up on one end or smashing furniture on the other, anger is an oddly satisfying sensation.
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Lethargy of lazy limbs, or tiredness of ones well used. Then, fire. Energy. Focus. Warmth. Power.
No wonder y'all are addicted to it.
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Once upon a time I used to get so angry that fighting me even 10 on 1 (at age 6, mind, when you're basically indestructible) was a bad idea.
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After that I spent years and years guiltily suppressing it, but looking back I can sense anger behind many of my major life decisions.
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long term use of anger for energy does real damage to human bodies. Should only be used for crises.
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Teaching children to suppress their anger rather than to express it healthily is child abuse... and incredibly common. Big ramifications.
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when the person you're angry at is a parent and a violent and dangerous one, you bottle it up for get hurt, bad.
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"Mama doesn't want to hold me when I cry and shout. I guess I will just be nice and smile.
Papa ignores me when I shout. Grit teeth it is."