I don't have a good answer for how to get to the bottom of a situation like that, but I know it isn't to start telling stories in your head.
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People with unskilled or abusive parents have it even worse, as many of their appropriate emotional responses have been blunted or mislaid.
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I'm 24 and have only recently started to granularity of anger between suppression/denial on one hand and blackout rage on the other.
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I did not have a particularly bad childhood, but my parents made some early mistakes as I was a very temperamental kid. Lasting consequences
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Something that helped me with anger, and seems to help with suppressed feelings in general: focus on the body, over thought.
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Thoughts are endlessly seductive and will explain any phenomenon using any "cause", but body sensations are few and clearly differentiated.
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Anger, sadness, gladness etc. all have different sensory underpinnings, which can be learned, recognized, even memorized.
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My anger always feels more or less the same way, unless I get so angry my whole body fills with the same numbness as after sharp pain.
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Once I learned to recognize these sensations, I slowly started reacting on the spot, rather than thinking before a much delayed "HANG ON..."
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It's not always good to act on what we feel, but knowing it for what it is is still important.
Trust the body. It knows.
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... And on occasions where it doesn't know, it's seldom much benefit to put trust in your overhyped rationality to piece it together.
