The less you apply thought to what you're feeling, the more of a mystery it becomes. This seems to me like a good thing.
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So many people are perfectly sure they know what drives them, yet they can never seem to go the direction they "want". Warring passions.
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If a feeling doesn't immediately compel you to act a certain way, there's a good chance it's not *a* feeling, but several.
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I don't have a good answer for how to get to the bottom of a situation like that, but I know it isn't to start telling stories in your head.
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People with unskilled or abusive parents have it even worse, as many of their appropriate emotional responses have been blunted or mislaid.
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I'm 24 and have only recently started to granularity of anger between suppression/denial on one hand and blackout rage on the other.
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I did not have a particularly bad childhood, but my parents made some early mistakes as I was a very temperamental kid. Lasting consequences
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