When you have relinquished some particularly vicious attachment, there is a lacuna where you still behave as if it's there. Then, poof...
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"Oh, I don't need this thing?"
"No, it's completely voluntary."
"Holy shit."
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it's voluntary now. Although usually the release for me comes with the end of the behaviour.
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Step back from the situation for a minute, feel no need to return to it... big question mark... "oh, I didn't need that at all".