Feeling a mixture of relief and dread that is difficult to put into words in a way that won't sound tacky - but relief is now winning.
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Dread from realizing - sensing physically, not contemplating intellectually - that all life is transitory and everything will yet change.
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Relief in the form of a more gradual realization that because the above is true, I am bound to nothing, beholden to no-one.
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(Including "Sindre", this edifice of tastes, fears, desires, habits and so on.)
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Cycling back into dread, because having that much freedom is a bit frightening.
Then relief, because it doesn't really matter anyway.
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