Also a problem of patience. You're not designed to be responsive to another person every hour of the day. Wears down willpower.
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one of the best signs of a good relationship to me is someone I can be with without either of us requiring anything
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Agreed, but our kid puts a wrench in that. High need baby with capital H. Polish culture is also remarkably toxic to parents.
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yeah, in theory you can do it as a householder, but it is just harder. And kids are lashing to the wheel, not spouses.
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Whereas more difficult practice & circumstances seem to keep me going more effectively. No clue as to why. Schooling, possibly.
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there will be a feeling, it's a form of resistance. It will be in the body and maybe a thought/mental image.
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Always had some kind of issue with system thinking. I can reverse-engineer and adopt with ease, but struggle with creating systems.
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Well, remember, from a cultivation point of view, it really isn't important. just an aspect of the body. and not disqualifying
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some issues make enlightenment virtually impossible till dealt with, this doesn't, thus not disqualifying.
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Got it. Precisely my penchant for imitation and adaptation-into-improvement is why a guru seems like a good idea for me.
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trad Guru is a promise of obedience for promise of enlightenment. Probably not suitable, though it might be. Teacher, however.