Conversely, she seems to lose her way sometimes and finds some added clarity to be helpful.
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like "99% of the things you are making drama out of aren't problems if you don't make them problems. Jaysus."
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The dynamic easily gets toxic when there's a lot of stress involved, but when it works it works incredibly well.
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it's fine as long as you're both pointed in the same general direction. Might be problematic if you start not being.
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I don't think there's a relationship today (in the west at least) that works if you can't say "fuck off, me time now" in a nice way.
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mmmm, I don't know. But I think it's wise to leave some space, yes. Partner love is wonderful, but it's generally transactional.
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Also a problem of patience. You're not designed to be responsive to another person every hour of the day. Wears down willpower.
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one of the best signs of a good relationship to me is someone I can be with without either of us requiring anything
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Agreed, but our kid puts a wrench in that. High need baby with capital H. Polish culture is also remarkably toxic to parents.
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yeah, in theory you can do it as a householder, but it is just harder. And kids are lashing to the wheel, not spouses.
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Whereas more difficult practice & circumstances seem to keep me going more effectively. No clue as to why. Schooling, possibly.
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yeah, something needs to be let go. Try watching whatever it is when it comes up. Turn your attention to the feeling of it
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there will be a feeling, it's a form of resistance. It will be in the body and maybe a thought/mental image.
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Good advice. I've tried before with moderated results. I think I could use guru help; I'm temperamentally receptive for a westerner.