The science is shit, the practices are shit, the culture is shit, and the alternatives are all flimsy and based on selling parenting books.
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My wife is obsessed with alternative ways of parenting due to her own parents and culture letting her down in every way imaginable.
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I am also coming around to realizing how many of my own developmental difficulties were the result of abject parento-cultural failures.
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Here's a fact: when kids reach sexual maturity and are coming around to developing their independence, we keep them leashed as supplicants.
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This condition is popularly known as teenage. It is completely artificial and poisonous to personal development and maturity.
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To the best of my knowledge, this is based on the (correct) idea that teenagers are not fully mentally developed, from which follows...
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... the incorrect premise that they need to be taught how to act. This is exactly what they need to learn themselves, but society resists.
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Instead of treating so-called teenagers as new and inexperienced adults, we treat them as outsize and misbehaving children. On that note..
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A vast amount of our problems with children comes from the idea that there is such a thing as a well-behaved child.
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Bluntly stated, a child behaving to any degree naturally is a selfish piece of shit parasite designed to force you to feed it and protect it
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Instead of treating this as a natural by-product of evolution that is -not the child's fault-, we've created the fiction of good behaviour.
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As a species we suck at behaving appropriately anyway, but for a child it is functionally impossible without internalizing misc. pathology.
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So to recap: we treat children as mini-adults and punish and reward them at turns for their behavior, then treat actual mini-adults as kids.
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