But for the past year, almost all my energy has gone into figuring out the mechanisms of how to be a father and entrepreneur, which is hard.
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In the more harrowing moments, that's opened up a wide range of topics I'd like to write more about, but the problem is no time for research
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The conversion rate on personal energy when you are embroiled in two simultaneous situations you don't know how to handle is very poor.
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Or put more bluntly, it's fucking difficult to focus on other things when your day-to-day is really difficult already.
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I'm suffering lapses in my personal health, lapses in my meditation practice, lapses in my sleep, my reading and just about everything else.
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But sadly I'm still relatively lucky by the scale of most people alive and my age in the west. I don't live in my parents' basement.
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When you put yourself under the lupe by subjecting yourself to trials you don't know if you can handle or not, the results are often erratic
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One month your output is tremendous and you feel on top of the world, the next some new difficulty plunges you into burnout and depression.
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The younger you are, as well, the less your system has been tested for resiliency or confidence. Every bad occurence is deeply harrowing.
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This in large part is a result of our culture being completely broken on the subject of young people, parenting and so on.
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There is a mass delusion that personal liberty and responsibility but low stability and support somehow breeds independent, effectual people
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The truth is it does precisely the opposite. It breaks kids and makes them adults prematurely, but for the rest it just drags growth down.
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One of the most stunning side-effects of becoming a parent is having to look carefully at what people are thinking and doing around kids.
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