Before I resumed meditating, I took a similar path as Lemminkäinen. Very transformative, but I'd rather meditate. open.spotify.com/album/5ENqMUz9
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Attempting the impossible with warlike zeal will bend and break anything in you, good and bad alike.
I had to rebuild everything. It helped
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That said, studying every aspect of your experience will get you there too. Not as quickly, but more reliably and less destructively.