now that i'm dating someone who's *noticeably* smarter than me i get why people would be worried about this--
there are noticeable intelligence gaps that *dont actually prevent you from having the sorts of discussions you want to have,* but
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it can be nervous-making to realize that you're talking to someone who can move more quickly through a complex discussion than you can, and whose conclusions you end up nearly always agreeing with when they lay out their case, even when you were *sure* of your position
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obviously the smarter person isnt always right, the dumber person can definitely contribute
but sometimes, esp. in moments of bruised ego, it doesnt feel that way! it just feels like "smart person" and "bimbo," and it's not unreasonable to prefer to be the smart person!
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having been on both sides of this now (i'm pretty sure) i noticed that the dumber person tends to get more frustrated
it's frustrating to be confused when you're talking to someone who's able to grasp and manipulate ideas so much more quickly
and it's a blow to the ego!
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so if you date someone a BIT dumber than you, you:
- arent locked out of any interesting conversations
- they can still reach you new things
- you wont feel insecure when you talk to them
drawbacks: they might not find all the holes in your ideas, and they may be frustrated
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Equal* partners feels best from my own experience, but people want very different things from relationships, so so long as their needs are compatible...
* usually if you're very intelligent, you'll have wiiide discrepancies in specific domains
Replying to
yeah skillsets can be p spikey!! ideally you have complimentary skills in domains you both care about
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