My psychology is very similar to that of a boss in an MMORPG who has a rage mechanic and hits harder the more damage it's taken.
Except it's a cool mechanic and I get calmer the worse shit I'm in.
I like it.
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I've been in an awful state for the better part of a year, total mess of a life, and I've been constantly stressed and tired...
Now it's at its worst, everything to lose and still not making much gain, and I have finally achieved peace.
I will do what I have to do. All of it.
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I know this because I have the same sort of serene feeling I get when I see someone is genuinely in distress and my shit needs to wait.
Except that it's me. I'm in distress. And my shit needs to wait.
This is a very surreal feeling to have.
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I've had traces of this feeling during some bad trips on psychedelics.
Constant existential terror bottoming out into oceanic peace. The light comes on and the fear fades out. Creative effort follows, cleaning things up.
This is currently just "being awake".
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Not really sure where any of this is headed, but I haven't been this excited to be alive in a long, long time.
That's it for sharing on Twitter, I think. Hope you are all well.
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