Any time!
Conversation
Let's start with social stuff.
I'm fairly socially inhibited. Have a lot of anxiety traits. Hyperreliant on verbal ability.
Cause of anxiety: I have trouble with social fluency. I understand social rules implicitly, but get overwhelmed by density of info/second guess a lot.
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This may be partly due to upbringing, as I've been making major improvements in these areas over the last years and don't seem to have base-level issues with functioning.
Apart from the lack of socio-emotional latent inhibition. I have to look away from faces when talking, e.g.
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When I'm not anxious, I tend to be hyperextroverted to the point of being a nuisance to people who can't deal with high energy.
I'm talkative, intense, very larger than life, sort of effortlessly/unintentionally taking up space.
I can turn this off, but it *wants* to be on.
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That's mostly it for explicitly social stuff.
With empathy, I am ridiculously sensitive to sensory inputs and information about people in my environment, and constantly modelling people intuitively. I wasn't even aware of this until earlier in my 20s, but I have always done it.
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E.g. I've had multiple experiences of telling people stuff "they've heard from their therapist"/that they don't believe at the time and later go "holy shit, dude, how?"
This is not something I can switch off. It's compulsive.
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I am so socially hypersensitive that I have a lot of experiences that seem/are pre-cognitive wrt. others.
I pick up changes in people and notice problems weeks in advance of attendant behaviors. Sometimes these come in dreams.
It's incredibly hard to lie to me, if I know you.
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For cognitive content, I have a lot of weird hyper/hypofunctions intermixed.
I have a lot of savantisms, areas where I pick stuff up effortlessly and develop unusual skills. I'm constantly bridging topics and seem to have massive parallel processing, even for a human.
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At the same time, deep focus on any one thing is almost impossible and I have a lot of problems with modelling anything I don't have a natural feel for.
It's very difficult to learn by rote, for me. I'm teflon for anything I can't play with, even when I really want to learn.
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I had to start reading this thread backwards, because time is an illusion and also I got bored
Focus and rote is for people whose brains are content to be ordinary.
But we are initiated, aren't we Bruce?
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I would actually really like to activate a deeper level of insight into any one thing so I can branch *everything* to that one skill.
Feel like I'd start developing superpowers at that point.
I try to weave it
go deeper in X, then hop to Y which complements X, then back to X, then Z comes in which is just a break, back to Y, back to X,
X has progressed to the point where it lets me do A
A ties in with Z which turns out to have been cool all along-
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