Meditating on emotions then: 'Hm, this doesn't seem to do a whole lot...'
Meditating on emotions now:
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I don't know if I'd describe the outcomes I've had from meditating on emotions as good, exactly.
There is some growing up involved, but that is quite a bittersweet experience.
You lose even more than you gain, since you lose both illusions and the situations they sustain.
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I don't mean to come across as pessimistic, here.
It's more that coming into a greater awareness of your own emotions leaves you responsible for cleaning up.
And there can be a lot of mess.
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Hmmm my intuition is that if we don't become aware and conscious of the mess, we're going to trip over them anyways, without know what's leading to our downfalls.
Read somewhere, paraphrased 'youre not to blame for your trauma, but you are responsible for healing from it'...
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Yeah, I mean, I'm halfway just being flippant.
It can be very reckless to jump into this work without a support structure in place, though.
People are frequently told to deal with their shit because it's the responsible thing to do, but that sometimes just looks like imploding.
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E.g. triggering yourself without any sort of technique or presence of mind with which to calm yourself down just makes the triggers stronger and more sensitive.
It's scary how much worse people can fuck themselves up in the process of trying to improve. Been there, done that.
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Actually this is exactly why I'm a little bit apprehensive about my upcoming 10day vipassana retreat... Read alot of stories of ppl's traumas being surfaced.
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2/ They said if any suicidal thoughts come up, I need to alert the teacher immediately and ensure I don't go home alone & have a support network waiting.
Curious to hear from folks who've done vipassana with a history of mental health issues? What was your experience like?
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