Meditating on emotions then: 'Hm, this doesn't seem to do a whole lot...'
Meditating on emotions now:
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I seemed to have diverged pretty significantly from most of the more typical yogic/buddhist practice outcomes.
Instead of building warmth, love or detachment, I'm mostly building intensity. A lot of intensity.
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Replying to
How to quantify 'good'?
I have gone from 'out of touch with my emotions' and 'often taken advantage of' to 'labile and intense' and 'often frightening'.
Feels more like a lateral step, if I'm honest, except in some aspects of personal effectiveness where it's a paradigm shift.
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Used to have issues with anger getting repressed and resultant inaction leading to fear, neuroticism, anxiety.
Now have issues with the sheer amount of free-floating anger in my system, and how volatile it sometimes makes me.
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I experience a whole lot less fear in general. I am not an easily frightened person. Not with anger available, anyway.
Other people, OTOH...