Meditating on emotions then: 'Hm, this doesn't seem to do a whole lot...'
Meditating on emotions now:
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I seemed to have diverged pretty significantly from most of the more typical yogic/buddhist practice outcomes.
Instead of building warmth, love or detachment, I'm mostly building intensity. A lot of intensity.
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Replying to
How to quantify 'good'?
I have gone from 'out of touch with my emotions' and 'often taken advantage of' to 'labile and intense' and 'often frightening'.
Feels more like a lateral step, if I'm honest, except in some aspects of personal effectiveness where it's a paradigm shift.
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Sounds vajrayanish. Good luck with that. Compost, while composting, heat, and stink.
Fortunately, it also nourishes soil.
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1/ You didn't ask for advice, but a couple things traditionally help with the intensity, to balance it out.
1. an ethical framework and view/practices aligned with that
(classically, the frameworks are things like brahmaviharas, the paramitas, the yamas/niyamas from Yoga).
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