Slowly apprehending the name of my newest adversary in life, and that adversary is Terror.
For reasons that are difficult to explain, this makes me very, very happy.
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The trajectory of my challenges in this area has gone something like:
Current fears
Persistent fears
Foundational (early developmental) fears
Fuck, that's a lot of fear <- you are here
Projected:
(possibly some other shit)
Fundamental, existential fears
Replying to
fear of death; fear of non-existence; general fear of suffering as opposed to specific; fear of lack of control. Drive it down to the autonomic area, so it operates even without frontal cortex override (this simply takes some biological time.)
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true freedom requires lack of attachment to a bunch of things and a willingness to live without solid "views". As the grosser stuff goes away, one becomes aware of more subtle attachments and fears.
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