A rare case of it probably not being terrible to make you click, but terrible just because the author is terrible.
Conversation
Replying to
it just stunned me, because when someone is living that unhealthily they're at least vaguely aware it's unhealthy
1
Replying to
Insight problems are the number one external signifier of personality disorders.
2
Is it because they think they will die if they engage in self reflection?
1
It varies, but most straightforward answer seems to be that people set their own baseline.
What I experience = normal, universal experience
Combine with comorbid issues like self-loathing and other patologies, and, well...
1
Well I have been trying to figure out people with personality disorders for years. It seems like to manipulate other people into believing a false reality you need some concept of objective reality. Wouldn't you?
1
No. There is no objective reality present in your subjective reality, and intersubjectivity is exceedingly malleable.
Dominating the intersubjective exchange & shared reality is entirely possible even without an understanding of your OWN subjectivity.
2
1
One thing I hit upon is that to me Narcissists kind of approach people like a candy machine. To get the candy you need to put in quarters, to get what you want from people they figure out what they have to give them.
1
This Tweet was deleted by the Tweet author. Learn more
She is normally capable of, if anything, much more nuanced thinking than most people, but this collapses under significant stress/triggers
At those times the pendulum swings very far the other way, towards a far more black-and-white, simplistic interpretation than average.
1
It's interesting to me how this clashes with narratives about narcissistic people, that 'they', monolithically, always think like that.
From my experiences, it's pretty clear that it's a conditioned, abnormal set of compensatory mechanisms (and absence of other common ones).
('my experiences' being that, due to my own messed-up psychology, I tend to be attracted to people high in narcissism or certain other cluster traits.)
1
that has happened to me too. I am finally in a relationship with a person who doesn't seem to have these Cluster B traits. Sometimes it makes me feel anxious. wondering when the other shoe will drop. But there hopefully is no shoe.
1
In my experience, this self awareness never seems to reach a critical mass. To some degree most people are a bit narcissistic, but its not our default setting.
1
Yes, that has been my ordinary experience too.
I strongly suspect this stems from both the peculiarities of the disorder (broad disregard for others and their perspectives), and the collective narcissism of therapists deeming it incurable simply because most therapies are bad.
2
Show replies