gay.medium.com/im-not-jealous
I have gazed into the abyss, and it gazed the fuck back right into my soul
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A rare case of it probably not being terrible to make you click, but terrible just because the author is terrible.
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it just stunned me, because when someone is living that unhealthily they're at least vaguely aware it's unhealthy
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Insight problems are the number one external signifier of personality disorders.
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Is it because they think they will die if they engage in self reflection?
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It varies, but most straightforward answer seems to be that people set their own baseline.
What I experience = normal, universal experience
Combine with comorbid issues like self-loathing and other patologies, and, well...
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Well I have been trying to figure out people with personality disorders for years. It seems like to manipulate other people into believing a false reality you need some concept of objective reality. Wouldn't you?
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No. There is no objective reality present in your subjective reality, and intersubjectivity is exceedingly malleable.
Dominating the intersubjective exchange & shared reality is entirely possible even without an understanding of your OWN subjectivity.
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One thing I hit upon is that to me Narcissists kind of approach people like a candy machine. To get the candy you need to put in quarters, to get what you want from people they figure out what they have to give them.
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She is normally capable of, if anything, much more nuanced thinking than most people, but this collapses under significant stress/triggers
At those times the pendulum swings very far the other way, towards a far more black-and-white, simplistic interpretation than average.
It's interesting to me how this clashes with narratives about narcissistic people, that 'they', monolithically, always think like that.
From my experiences, it's pretty clear that it's a conditioned, abnormal set of compensatory mechanisms (and absence of other common ones).
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('my experiences' being that, due to my own messed-up psychology, I tend to be attracted to people high in narcissism or certain other cluster traits.)
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