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Cinder
@Triquetrea
Recognizing a lot of my worst *and* best traits as springing from compensatory behaviours has completely reoriented my internal compasses. And completely redefined my understanding of why I do things, and how to do things in the future. Prolonged shock therapy.
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Cinder
@Triquetrea
I am probably not nearly dysfunctional enough to qualify for a diagnosis. The nr. 1 diagnostic criteria is suffering, and I am mostly fine. But there are so many small problems that now seem obviously in need of fixing. Before, I had stories to explain them. Now, nothing.
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Cinder
@Triquetrea
Without your persistent stories, you are naked to the world. Raw. It's impossible to sustain that without change. You either adapt or fall into delusions and dissociation. But when you don't believe your old stories and don't have your old life structure, the Ds are difficult.
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Cinder
@Triquetrea
This push-and-pull realignment of polarities happens everywhere. "Oh, there is rarely if ever something wrong about others to prompt my being rude. It is almost always my own problem. It's just me. Just me. Maybe I should work more on my manners?" Etc.
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Cinder
@Triquetrea
Nothing significant that you do, strictly speaking makes sense. It may have some internal narrative cohesion, may have all the markings of a good story. But it's just a story, and all stories are false. So here is a question to ask, over and over: what is this story for?
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