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It's a strange kind of relief on top of any sense of loss. None of the things that didn't work, *could* really have worked without her hurting herself. Not my fault. Not hers. It's a *big* relief.
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my advice would be to give yourself some time to process and grieve a bit, before you do anything new. it's a big chunk of yourself to let go of, and it can come back at you in unexpected ways for a long time.
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Don't think I'll be doing any of that right now. Mostly just going to breathe for a while, do some fucked-up shit, that kind of thing.
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