I have a hunch there’ll be things in Roche’s work that you find refreshing. He’s a neat dude, interesting backstory. Completely different goals and approach than Cutting Machine. Roche is working much more in the lane of “meditation as nutrition” style, than...
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Oh, for sure. I'm so far down the Cutting Machinery rabbit hole now that seeing it all the way through is a top priority, though.
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Curious, did you have a 'dark night' experience following Cutting Machinery? I did and stopped using the method.
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Life kind of fell apart. Lost job, lost substantial long service leave, deep depression for about 10 months. I'm much better now but still recovering on the householder path. Haven't regained a solid practice. Lots of lessons hard won.
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I wouldn't say I have "bad" trauma in an acute sense. More long-term insidious confusing internal family system stuff. Has a big, ongoing affect on relationships though.
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Yeah, the "small" traumas are often the most destructive. Bigger traumatic events tend to get siloed, have limited emotional ties.
Anything that happens in early childhood or as part of an ongoing family dynamic, though, will affect huge chunks of your emotional being.
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Probably not giving big traumas enough credit there, but point is even relatively benign family problems can snowball into big blockages.
And when those go, or even just get triggered, there's a lot that can go with them in the flood.
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I definitely sense this but haven't had a lot of success in removing the logs.
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Option 1 (superior, IMO): trauma-informed therapy like somatic experiencing, EMDR etc. - this is basically doing the emotional processing step with professional help.
Option 2: when stuff comes up during open awareness, or can't be handled during processing, go back to mantras.
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The thing is, getting exposed to trauma triggers without sufficient calm is no joke. Big chance of just retraumatizing yourself. Mantra calms.
(This is also why treatment like CBT sucks for trauma - it brings up the triggers, but talking is not sufficiently calming in itself.)
a profound feeling of "it doesn't matter/it's dealt with" is necessary to end the a trauma. Nothing will go away till you don't care. Getting to an emotional state where you don't care is the trick, but possible.
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YES thank you. CBT is something I have... Problems with, especially coming from the behaviourist tradition.
Anyway for folks in the thread, I wrote about dealing with fear and anxiety without retraumatising myself in case you find it interesting/useful:
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