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Replying to

@Triquetrea

and

@visakanv

Well, I can tell you it would at least help in my (American) case, but yeah, there are deeper problems.

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Replying to

and

Older kids go away most of the day and are basically tortured in day prison, come home and hardly know you - and vice-versa. Before that it's just this lump of expectations, needs and demands following you around literally 24/7, waking you at night, and no reprieve in sight.

Replying to

and

Human coexistence only works in larger units. Kid goes to bother grandparents, uncles, siblings. Mutual validation and bonding occurs. Parents get a reprieve. Can live their own lives. Spend time together. Fuck. Sleep, occasionally.

Replying to

and

Ideally, yeah. But then you're rolling the dice w/ them. My wife's parents don't talk to 50% or more of extended family for *very* good reasons surrounding attitudes toward children. A decent chunk of my extended family is for limited exposure to the kids only.

Replying to

and

Like, the ideal of grandparents being easier going and more permissive does not exist for me. My parents are more authoritarian and rigid than me. My wife's family has child-rearing practices that are psychological terrorism. Etc. I guess... no solution is perfect?

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Replying to

and

All it takes is one parent with PTSD or some strong antisocial traits (read: violent, not introverted) to fuck several generations up.

Replying to

and

Trauma is unfortunately one of the few things that seem to reliably pass intergenerationally. And our societies are extremely bad at healing it.

Replying to

and

There's no collective dance and song, no collaborative storytelling, pack hunting, shamanic healing rites... just nothing. We have some therapeutic modalities that work. But these are offered to a minority, are costly and time-consuming, have wait lists, are opt-in...