Strong agreement on all of that. Plus I'd add lack of adequate social safety net and free/low cost assistance/activities for nuclear families and single parents.
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Dude, parenting is still a shitshow in Norway where both of those things are in abundance.
Add to that wildly mission creepy CPS getting more and more brazen about snatching kids for minor parenting misdemeanours, and it's no fun to parent here.
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Well, I can tell you it would at least help in my (American) case, but yeah, there are deeper problems.
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Older kids go away most of the day and are basically tortured in day prison, come home and hardly know you - and vice-versa.
Before that it's just this lump of expectations, needs and demands following you around literally 24/7, waking you at night, and no reprieve in sight.
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Human coexistence only works in larger units. Kid goes to bother grandparents, uncles, siblings. Mutual validation and bonding occurs.
Parents get a reprieve. Can live their own lives. Spend time together. Fuck. Sleep, occasionally.
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Ideally, yeah. But then you're rolling the dice w/ them. My wife's parents don't talk to 50% or more of extended family for *very* good reasons surrounding attitudes toward children. A decent chunk of my extended family is for limited exposure to the kids only.
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Like, the ideal of grandparents being easier going and more permissive does not exist for me. My parents are more authoritarian and rigid than me. My wife's family has child-rearing practices that are psychological terrorism. Etc. I guess... no solution is perfect?
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All it takes is one parent with PTSD or some strong antisocial traits (read: violent, not introverted) to fuck several generations up.
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Trauma is unfortunately one of the few things that seem to reliably pass intergenerationally. And our societies are extremely bad at healing it.
There's no collective dance and song, no collaborative storytelling, pack hunting, shamanic healing rites... just nothing.
We have some therapeutic modalities that work. But these are offered to a minority, are costly and time-consuming, have wait lists, are opt-in...
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And most mainstream forms of therapy like CBT are retraumatizing.
Just *talking about* your traumas without correct methodology is awfully damaging.
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