Eating out and noticed a kid knock this over. His parents proceeded to run an entirely unnecessary shame and scare routine
Parents: You see!! You see what happen!! The lady coming to scold you now!!!
Waitstaff: it’s okay! Nothing is damaged
(me: the kid. the kid is damaged.)
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This is one of those situations where you are absolutely right, and I can also totally understand, in certain contexts, why parents would do this. As a first resort/constant tactic? No. After 12 hrs of wildness, incessant interruption, shouting, etc? I can see it, unfortunately.
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There are days when, from the stress of just watching my 4 yr old for 12 hrs, my hands are shaky and I can't think straight. When I can't speak a single sentence to my wife bc he interrupts. When every minute is a question or demand. When he wakes his sister from her nap. Etc.
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Strong agreement on all of that. Plus I'd add lack of adequate social safety net and free/low cost assistance/activities for nuclear families and single parents.
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Dude, parenting is still a shitshow in Norway where both of those things are in abundance.
Add to that wildly mission creepy CPS getting more and more brazen about snatching kids for minor parenting misdemeanours, and it's no fun to parent here.
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Well, I can tell you it would at least help in my (American) case, but yeah, there are deeper problems.
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Older kids go away most of the day and are basically tortured in day prison, come home and hardly know you - and vice-versa.
Before that it's just this lump of expectations, needs and demands following you around literally 24/7, waking you at night, and no reprieve in sight.
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Human coexistence only works in larger units. Kid goes to bother grandparents, uncles, siblings. Mutual validation and bonding occurs.
Parents get a reprieve. Can live their own lives. Spend time together. Fuck. Sleep, occasionally.
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Ideally, yeah. But then you're rolling the dice w/ them. My wife's parents don't talk to 50% or more of extended family for *very* good reasons surrounding attitudes toward children. A decent chunk of my extended family is for limited exposure to the kids only.
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Like, the ideal of grandparents being easier going and more permissive does not exist for me. My parents are more authoritarian and rigid than me. My wife's family has child-rearing practices that are psychological terrorism. Etc. I guess... no solution is perfect?
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